What I won't/don't do

• Perform a surprise weddings where the person being surprised is the bride or groom (as long as the couple are in on the surprise, it is fine to surprise your family and friends).
  
• Change the amount of notice required to be given (though I can assist you to apply for a Shortening of Time where there is a legitimate reason, such as the terminal illness of the bride, groom or close family member)
• Perform a marriage ceremony where you have not shown me original copies (i.e. as issued by the relevant government authority) of all the required documents
  
• Perform a marriage ceremony where there is doubt that either the bride or groom's consent is real consent.
• Mislead guests as to the nature of the ceremony, so I can't pretend the ceremony is a legal marriage when it is not (eg where you are already married but don't wish your guests to know that, or where you are not, for various reasons, able to marry legally)
  

• Perform ceremonies aboard boats or ships that are under way, or aboard aeroplanes or hot air balloons in flight or on the top of the Story Bridge
  
• Participate in Extreme Weddings (I leave those to more macho celebrants)
• Perform ceremonies on Moreton, Stradbroke, Fraser or other islands (I suggest you use a local celebrant as travel time and constraints on travel by the ferry schedules makes it impracticable for me as it requires devoting a whole day to a single ceremony)
  
• Perform a ceremony in the nude (Trust me, you want your wedding photos to be fantastic, but not unbelievable)
  
• Include the word "obey" in the vows for weddings, reaffirmations or commitment ceremonies

• Talk about myself (in fact, the only "I" statements you'll hear coming out of my mouth will be those I'm legally required to make:

• Be self-indulgent in any way, so I won't
  
• keep your guests focussed on me, rather than you (for a lot of the ceremony I make sure I'm the voice-over, not the centre of attention)
  
• inflict a stand-up routine on anyone
• wear clothing or jewellery that attracts attention
• Try to relive my own wedding through yours (be wary of young celebrants who make a big deal about their own weddings)
• impose my beliefs on you (the clear demarcation between civil and religous celebrants has been removed so some civil celebrants impose their beliefs through their ceremonies and this might be without prior warning)

• Inconvenience you by overbooking. I allow plenty of time between ceremonies to allow for unforeseen delays in traffic.