| Celebrants | Inclusive Wedding | Wedding Ceremony |
Frankly, I don't stalk other celebrants.
I've been in this business for long enough to be
confident in my own style, my own creativity (and,
though it is difficult for me to blow my own trumpet,
having been brought up with a clear understanding of
hubris) I'm pretty darn good at reading people and
creating the ceremony they never knew they wanted or
Actually, I'm more than pretty darn good. I'm
completely brilliant! What lies at the heart of
that is that I DON'T JUDGE.
But I do get mega-annoyed when I read outright
criticism of older celebrants framed as personal
patting on the back by young, green, celebrants with 2
minutes experience as a celebrant, and clearly not
much life experience if they think 50+ is the new
"one-foot-in-the-grave, the other on a banana skin".
So, when I stumbled across a celebrant self-promotion
in which said celebrant-for-2-minutes self-described
as someone who "doesn't do Bogan or Circus, doesn't
have one foot in the grave and doesn't have a blue
" I said some pretty rude things to my
The first part of the statement doesn't make sense.
Not sure how one would "do Bogan". If that means
that this celebrant doesn't do ceremonies for people
she characterises as Bogan, that's A. Judgemental B.
Snobbish and C. Stupid. It is a term I've never quite
understood, anyway, because it seems to be applied
randomly. If it means she won't do ceremonies in a
manner she classifies as Bogan, frankly, I have no
idea what that would be. Presumably one not littered
with readings from Shakespeare, but really, who the
hell needs a ceremony that is an anthology of other
people's writing (the mark of a lazy celebrant) when a
more powerful approach is to use simple,
conversational language and to express the couple's
feelings in their own words?
Doesn't do Circus? If that means including lots of
other people in the ceremony. Bring it on. If that
means you wearing what you want. Definitely. If that
means riding in on horseback, including your furbabies
in the ceremony, and giving me the opportunity to
invent a one-of-a-kind ritual. I'm in!
And as for blue rinse. Gosh, how many brides,
bridesmaids, and guests have I had the pleasure of
interacting with who have blue, green, purple, pink
etc streaks or ombre and who look fabulous as a
result. At least she didn't suggest that we older
celebrants smell of moth balls - which another
just-burst-upon-the-firmament celebrant did a couple
of years ago.
So, here's the reality. You don't know what you don't
know, lassie. To be a great celebrant takes a lot more
than ignorance shored up with vast amounts of ego.
takes hard work.
It takes thoughtful reflection.
It takes life experience.
It takes continuous learning.
It takes continuous improvement.
It takes modesty. Because unless you are modest you
will think you already know it all and that there is
no need for all of the above.
Far from turning the celebrant/wedding business on its
head - something we are hearing boringly often - we
older celebrants have been quietly doing that for
One of the things that guests at weddings almost
routinely say to me is "I"ve never seen that before in
a ceremony ..." (said in a good way!).
I was injecting spontaneity into my ceremonies years
before a new celebrant decided an unscripted ceremony
was the way to go. Spontaneous unscripted moments are
one thing. A totally unscripted ceremony generally
translates into someone's personal way of doing a
ceremony without having to bother to get the couple to
approve the ceremony. From day one, I've been using a
huge amount of cultural knowledge, built up over many
years living in other countries, together with
research skills developed over many years working in
the information field, to make sure that the ceremony
honours you as individuals, respects your family
background, and celebrates everything you are.
And I've never had to wear "look-at-me" clothing, or
be centre-stage and centre of attention during your
Perhaps, though, I've been too darn modest in the way
I've been advertising myself, and too honest in making
sure that my fees are reasonable, rather than
indulging in ego pricing!
So, here goes. As a person, I'm kind, friendly, or, as
one of my brides quite recently said, "...warm, down
to earth, and incredibly helpful (think: like the cool
Aunty who tells it like it is, and helps where it’s
As a celebrant, I'm pretty darn amazing! But
apparently I don't have an ego to match .... or let
that ego hang out enough!