4 Top Reasons to Use a Vow-Writing Service

by Jennifer Cram - Brisbane Marriage Celebrant ©
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                      Cram, The Vows Magician with the text Vows that
                      will make your partner fall in love with you all
                      over againWriting your own wedding vows is definitely a thing.  Over the past few years it has become almost taken for granted that a couple being married in a civil ceremony will write their own vows.

There are many good reasons to make personal vows the central feature of your wedding ceremony. But not everyone has the skills to easily write their own. So just as there is no harm, or shame, is recognising that you don't have the skills or the time to DIY other elements of your wedding, there is no harm, or shame, in recognising that you are not a natural writer or that your time and talents would be better spent doing other things. Hiring a professional vow writer, like me, The Vows Magician, is not cheating. It's self-care.

Here are my top four really great reasons to use a professional vow writing service:

1. It's a great time-management tactic

I bet you had no idea how much time planning a wedding would take. It can be a full-time job in itself. But you have to fit it round normal life. It also seems like every person you've hired to put your wedding together has their own schedule, own deadlines and other clients. So you end up juggling what feels like a million different schedules.  That's where the Vows Magician (me) can step in, take the stress away, work behind the scenes to your turnaround time, and turn your thoughts into vows that express what's in your heart while freeing you up to deal with all those other deadlines.  No need for a dictionary, or a template, or desperate Googling. While Just Google is very common advice handed out about vows, Google can be a complete time sink as you search for tips, templates, and a how-to magic bullet, and then you still have to come up with the content and pull it all together in, hopefully, one succinct vow that makes sense.

2. It guarantees vows that are truly personal and real

Let's face it. We've all been to too many weddings where the vows were a Ground Hog Day experience. I'm not talking about the traditional For better, for worse, For richer, for poorer  vows. They're in a league of their own. I'm talking about personal vows proudly announced as written by the couple.

Part of the problem is that most vow writing advice, or ahem, templates, are predictable. They suggest you tell your relationship story as part of them, and include phrases and even whole sentences (ahem, quotes and songlines) that are anything but original. And that makes them boring. But they are also are not in your own voice, with your way of speaking, which makes them feel fake.

Using a vow writing service where the person providing the service is not only a good speechwriter, but also someone adept at asking the right questions, in the right way, to get to the heart of who you are, what makes your relationship unique, and translating your answers without losing your voice, guarantees your vows will be personal to you, not a "here we go again" experience for your guests or for your partner.

3. Your vows will flow naturally, without rambling

There is an art to writing words that will be spoken. And it is different from writing words that are meant to be silently read.  In the case of vows, though, you need them to sound natural on the day, but will also want them to read well, when you return to them in the years to come, as you will.

Creating vows that work both ways, that convey your commitment, in words that are true to your personality, requires a lot of distilling both to get to the heart of what you want to promise, and to keep your vows relatively short. A minute or two is fine. Anything more tends to be a bit of a ramble that makes your guests eyes roll rather than mist over.

Working with a professional vow writer gets rid of the ramble and delivers fresh words that will succintly meld your thoughts, feelings, and commitment into a naturally sounding that will make your partner fall in love with you all over again.

4. When you treat vow writing as a wedding planning task rather than a DIY requirement there are amazing benefits

Sit coms are full of scenes of brides and grooms frantically trying to write vows the morning of the wedding. What I take from that is that there is an almost universal assumption that the problem is lack of organisation because anyone can write vows if they only make the effort. But you never see someone frantically trying to make their own wedding cake, or suit, or dress. It is universally accepted that those are skills that only some people have at the level that is required.

Moving vow writing from the DIY column across to the Wedding Services column will
  • reduce your stress
  • get rid of the fear of being judged
  • allow you to acknowledge that not being a natural writer isn't a failure, its just not in your skill set
  • free up your headspace to focus is on the what and why part of your commitment and the promises you want to make by leaving the how to someone who will deliver the perfect words in the perfect tone in tune with your overall wedding style
  • allow you to relax and be in the moment on the day

Did you enjoy reading this post? 
Check out my Vows Magician Vow Writing Services and let's talk

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                        Jennifer Cram
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