the Not Really a Blog...
Blog (noun) a
regularly updated website or web page, typically
one run by an individual or small group,
that is written in an informal or conversational
style. 1990s abbreviation of weblog.
The typical celebrant blog is a diary about ceremonies
conducted - with lots of personal information about the
couple. I don't do that because of privacy issues, so
you won't find real life weddings here. Rather, this is
a random diary of my thoughts about various issues and
challenges you may well be faced with as you plan your
wedding, or responses to questions I have been asked. So
it is a mixed bag about anything and everything from
choosing your venue and your celebrant, to what might
seem like miniscule decisions where your decision can
have a big impact on the overall outcome.
Is it OK for a guest to wear white to a wedding?
The "never wear white to a
wedding" rule is one of those hard and fast rules
of etiquette that pretty well everyone has
accepted for a very, very long time. In the 21st
is this a rule that can be broken?
When are you actually legally married?
There are many incorrect assumptions about when in the
sequence of the ceremony, the signing, and the
registration of their marriage a couple is actually
legally married. ... Read on...
On the Hidden Costs of Being "Fashionably" Late to
Being fashionably late to your wedding, is not only not
a must do tradition, it can cost you, big time, in more
ways that just money ... Read on...
Has Marriage Equality Changed Weddings? – My
A year ago,
I predicted that Marriage Equality would change all
weddings in Australia, as more and
more heterosexual couples, previously
constrained by a wedding playbook that includes
outmoded traditions and embedded roles defined
by gender, experience the individual,
meaningful, expressions of an equal relationship
in the weddings of same-sex couples - and
that every wedding, gay or straight,
would be the better for it.
So how accurate was I? Read
Tossing the Garter – Yes or No??
Tossing the Garter is a wedding tradition that a growing
number of couples are choosing to skip altogether for
various reasons. But kipping the embarrassing bit
(the retrieval from the bride's leg) and changing up how
it is tossed can add a lot of fun to the occasion while
avoiding the things that can be an issue Read on...
What if Someone Objects?
seen it in movie after movie - If anyone knows
any reason why these two should not be joined in
marriage, speak now .... So what happens if
someone objects at your wedding?
Witnesses and Weddings
Australia, no matter whether you marry in
church, the registry office, or by a civil
celebrant, and no matter whether you have the
big white wedding with a large wedding party, or
choose just to elope, the one thing that every
wedding must have is two witnesses
Friend or Professional Celebrant?
Would choosing a friend instead of a professional
celebrant to conduct your wedding ceremony be a good
option for you? Everything you need to consider -
and how you can have the best of both worlds ...
How to have a Gracious Wedding
Most couples today host their own weddings. Here are 35
ways to make sure that everyone feels welcome,
appreciated, and both physically and emotionally
Before you Meet Your Celebrant
There are two distinct aspects to getting married -
planning the ceremony and meeting the legal
requirements. Without the ceremony, your wedding
will just be an expensive party. And without meeting the
legal requirements you will not be legally married! Here
is a list of things to decide and things to do before
you meet with me. If you can tick off all of these the
process will go smoothly and efficiently.
Reduce Your Wedding Stress
8 easy ways to take control of your wedding and reduce
your wedding stress ... Read on...
Privacy and You, Your Wedding, Your Marriage
If you’ve ever wondered what my reasons are for rarely
posting photos of the couple, or mentioning their names,
even though I’ve officiated well over 800 legal
marriages ... Read on...
Wedding Budget Hidden Costs that Everyone Forgets
Here are the
four major sources of hidden costs that you need to
be aware of, and budget for, when planning your
You, Your Wedding, and Trans-Gender and Non-Binary
If you’re a
Cis-gender couple planning your own wedding,
issues of gender identity may not be front and
centre in the process. However there are good
reasons why they should be. Here are some tips
on how to make sure your wedding is a
comfortable and inclusive experience for
everyone who attends, regardless of their gender
8 Simple Ways to Keep Within your Wedding Budget
One of the
most difficult aspects of wedding planning is
keeping within your wedding budget. Here are 8
simple things that will make that a breeze ...
Wine Box or First Fight Box?
Why an Anniversary Wine Box is a more appropriate ritual
for a wedding than a First Fight Box Read on...
Bride promising to obey until death? Not any more
A very common question from brides is "Do I have to
promise to obey" Read on...
Is your celebrant duly authorised?
scams involving persons who are not authorised
celebrants are extremely rare in Australia, now that a
celebrant can be deregistered forthwith if he or she
fails to pay the annual fee celebrants are now required
to pay, it is particularly important to check whether
your celebrant is still registered Read on...
How to choose your celebrant
like you’d choose a car… (updated 14/06/2018)
Just as the car you choose not only has to fit your
budget but also be fit for purpose, so does your
'You may kiss your bride' - oh yeah? How to
have the Perfect (and Perfectly Modern) Kiss (updated
As a celebrant I not only see many many wedding kisses,
I also have the responsibility of prompting them. Your
first kiss as a married couple will be photographed and
remembered by your guests (and everyone who sees the
photographs) for years and years, so it is important to
plan for the perfect kiss!
The Importance of Wedding Invitations ... and other
Wedding Stationery (16/02/2018)
Of all the "must haves" attached to a wedding, the two
that seem to be pushed to the bottom of the budget are
the celebrant (without whom you'd just be having a very
expensive party) and the invitations (without which none
of the people you want to be there would know the
important where and when facts).... Read on...
Birdseed, and Weddings (04/02/2018)
traditionally thrown at weddings, is rarely seen
nowadays because churches, reception venues, and local
authorities usually ban the throwing of rice, along with
confetti, but replacing it with birdseed is not a good
Marriage Equality Will Change Wedding Ceremonies
is my prediction – wedding ceremonies will change, but
it won’t be a case of the wedding industry merely
accommodating same-sex couples. Rather same sex couples
will influence, by example, all civil wedding ceremonies
in Australia, and all weddings will be the better for
Same Sex Ceremonies - Negotiating the Gendered
Nature of Ceremony Traditions (09/01/2018)
Rather than assign roles, assign various customs .... Read
Multicultural Fusion Weddings (08/01/2018)
If you are an
intercultural couple, how do you navigate your
ceremony? It is not uncommon to have two
ceremonies. But there is a third option - a fusion
wedding ceremony that incorporates the traditions of
what are important to you both ...
Things I've Learned Over 11 Years of Being a Marriage
of the things I've learned include it is never too early
to book important vendors, the most common questions
asked, the most common fear, and more .... Read
the Scenes (02/01/2018)
is not unusual for a celebrant to receive a request for
a lowball fee on the grounds that "it is only an hour".
However, what you and your guests see on the day is only
a fraction of what I do to make your ceremony special
and your marriage legal.
An incredible amount of work and preparation happens
behind the scenes to make that hour possible. It is also
not unusual for full realisation of how much behind the
scenes preparation is involved to sink in only when a
couple attends other weddings down the track and sees
the result of some of that behind the scenes work being
omitted ... Read
Celebrants and Clergy - what's the difference and does
it matter? (01/12/2017)
Marriage Act, along with Dean Smith's Bill currently
making it's way through the Parliamentary process,
differentiates between Clergy and Civil Celebrants in
what they can and can't do. So, what is the
difference between civil celebrants and clergy, and, if
you are planning to marry, does it matter
Signing the Register and the Certificates (updated
you need to know about signing the Marriage Register and
Marriage Certificates .... Read on...
Your celebrant is NOT ripping you off (it is more
than just half an hour) (10/07/2017)
There is an awful lot that goes into
the half-hour the ceremony lasts - and that's what you
are paying for ....
About Silk (03/02/2017)
is the luxury fabric. Used both in wedding gowns on for
grooms' ties. To learn about the many types of silk ....Read on...
weddings go together like, well, wedding gowns and
weddings. Regarded to be the traditional bridal fabric,
it has been popular for luxury wedding gowns for
centuries. To learn about the most popular types of lace
used in wedding gowns ....Read on...
The Drones are Coming
This year I predict that drones will
be the must-have at a wedding. But there are some things
you need to take into account to ensure disaster doesn't
How to have an Environmentally
Friendly and Socially Conscious Wedding (25/10/2016)
celebrations do not have to lack style. As well as
ensuring that you do not start your married life by
unwittingly contributing to climate change or
environmental damage, making socially conscious choices
can save you money – and provide a defensible
justification for not breaking the bank! Here's
...Read on ...
Great Wedding Photos Start in the Mind (22/09/2016)
and mind-power can make or break your wedding photos ...Read
much does a wedding cost? (18/09/2016)
other parts of the retail sector are seeing a downturn,
even though the number of weddings in Australia per year
is dropping, the wedding industry is flourishing - and
that is costing couples big time. But it doesn't have to
to Train your Flower Girl for a Brilliant Petal Toss
There is nothing sweeter than
a flower girl tossing petals with exuberant abandon. But
achieving that takes a little training ... Read on ...
And the Flower Girl wore
a Backpack ... (14/09/2016)
the children you want involved in your wedding ceremony
the choice of what they will do and what they will wear
and magic happens ... Read on...
Everything you Learned about Wedding Ceremonies
from Married at First Sight is WRONG ... (13/09/2016)
at First Sight is about the worst wedding
manual on the planet ... and here's why
How to Remember and Honour Deceased Loved Ones in
your Wedding Ceremony (09/09/2016)
deceased loved ones is something many couples wish to
include in their wedding. There are many ways to do
this, and many things that need to be considered ... Read
How to avoid
getting less than you paid for….. or more than you
bargained for....when booking your ceremony
Insider tips about what to
look at when considering a ceremony package... Read on...
How (Not) to
Stagger Down the Aisle (in 3 easy steps) (31/08/2016)
There is an art to walking
down the aisle elegantly - and most of it relates to
preparation ... Read on...
The One Simple Thing Most
Couples Forget When Choosing a Ceremony Venue
There is a very simple thing that makes all the
difference when choosing your ceremony venue. Forgetting
to do it is a serious oversight ... Read on...
Shocking Truth about Wedding Dresses (22/08/2016)
single biggest contributor to the carbon footprint of
your wedding may surprise you ... Read on...
to Avoid the #1 Wedding Embarrassment (15/08/2016)
most feared wedding embarrassment is something that
nobody wants to do in public, let alone at their wedding
6 Good Reasons to Celebrate when
Something Goes Wrong at your Wedding
There is no such thing
as a perfect wedding, But that's reason to celebrate,
and here's why...Read
Psychology: How and Where to Stand (30/07/2016)
and where the bride and groom stand during the ceremony
not only impacts on photographs of the ceremony, it can
have a far-reaching impact on the marriage, Read
you need to know about getting married with an
Australian celebrant in Bali
... Read on...
Things we "Know" about Getting Married that Ain't So
Artemus Ward said 'It ain't so much the things we don't
know that get us in trouble. It's the things we know
that ain't so.' In wedding land there are a lot of
common beliefs that just aren't true ... Read on....
to get the best "getting ready" photos (23/07/2016)
Ensuring that your 'getting ready' photos are fantastic
requires not just a photographer with skills and a good
eye, but some preparation on the part of the bridal
party. ... Read
to create a talking logo for your wedding
Borrow a tool from business networking for effective
communication about your wedding ... Read on....
10 lessons learned from 700+ weddings (21/07/2016)
Ten years of officiating weddings, both legal and
non-legal, have dished up some pretty interesting
lessons, some of which might surprise ... Read on....
Islamic Tartan (19/07/2016)
Anyone, regardless of faith or
genetic background can have a Tartan Wedding,
something demonstrated by an official registered
tartan ... Read
Problem with Wedding Readings (17/07/2016)
Most people assume that you have to
have readings in a wedding ceremony. Unfortunately, on
the day they often don't work ... Read
Microphone Wars (17/07/2016)
Most celebrants use a hand-held microphone. But is that
the best choice? ... Read on....
Flowers, and Furniture (updated 30/07/2018)
Every now and then, someone asks me what I supply in
terms of styling and other add-ons for a wedding ... Read on....
and GO (06/08/2016)
Drone and GO, sounds like the typical wedding ceremony,
doesn't it - the celebrant drones on, and eventually you
get to kiss and go. But that's not what this post is
about ... Read
Talking Heads (13/07/2016)
Let's face it. Most wedding ceremonies are pretty
ordinary. And that's partly because they are all about
words. Bride, Groom, and Celebrant as Talking Heads,
with the celebrant doing 98% of the talking ...Read on....