RED at a wedding - the hill I'm prepared to die on

<  previous    |    contents    |    next   >

Wearing Red to a Wedding as a guest or as the celebrant. That's the hill I'm prepared to die on. While this might sound extreme, there are extremely good reasons for my stance.

History

We are all familiar with the mantra (aka the rule) Don't wear white to a wedding. Which, in reality, is shorthand for Don't upstage the bride. It's a simple enough rule of etiquette, but let's unpack it.

• Brides, apart from insanely rich brides, did not wear white until Queen Victoria made it almost a rule that you broke at your peril. White clothes were expensive and difficult to maintain. Remember, despite romantic movies, the world was a far dirtier place. Unsealed roads. Horse poop in the streets. No council garbage collection. No vacuum cleaners. You get the picture.  And, most brides just wore their best dress.
• Photos were posed, studio photos. And colour film did not exist.
• So it was all about the in-person experience on the day.

Symbolism

While Western brides wearing white was quickly translated into being symbolic of purity, rather than of wealth, and, in certain cultures, the bride always wears red as a symbol of happiness. the general symbolism of red has been historically far more complex than that of white.

• Red has represented many things, from the life force and the divine, to love, lust, anger, and courage.
  
• From early times to the end of the Middle Ages, red held a place of privilege in the Western world.
  
• In the Middle Ages, red had religious significance, as the color of the blood of Christ and the fires of Hell, together with and secular meaning, as a symbol of love, glory, and beauty.
• During the Reformation, Protestants began to review red as indecent and immoral and linked to luxury and the excesses of the Catholic Church.
• For many cultures, red is deemed to be the only colour worthy enough to be used for social purposes.
• After the French Revolution, red became associated with progressive movements and radical left-wing politics.
• A female guest wearing red to a wedding is, in parts of Europe, an admission of a previous hook-up with the groom!
  

Technological advances

Wedding photography in the 21st century is nothing like it was in the 19th, or even for most of the 20th.

• Black and white photography is a stylistic choice, not the only game in town
• Pretty well every guest will have a device that allows them to not only take photos, but to publish them on social media and send them to friends, 
• Some guests, and your official, professional photographer will have the capacity to zoom in for close-ups
• Photos of your wedding will live forever in the cloud
  

A photographic truism

Red draws the eye. It's a bulletproof resource for grabbing attention. If a photographer wants to draw the eye of the viewer to something, including in a landscape, they will position a "touch of red".

It's a trick that has its origin way before cameras were invented. In the Renaissance period, for example, red was used to draw the viewer’s attention to the most influential figures in a painting.

Translate this to a wedding and a red-wearing celebrant changes the whole dynamic of the ceremony.

What about red lipstick?

I'm hardline on this one. The majority of brides still opt for subtle lip colours, and grooms go au naturel. Put a celebrant, or a bridesmaid wearing bright red lipstick in the picture and your main people look pale by comparison.

So, while women are commonly advised to wear red lipstick when doing a public speaking gig, it should be remembered that solemnising a marriage is more than just a gig, and much more than about the celebrant.

Are there any exceptions?

There are always exceptions!

• Bridesmaids all dressed in red
• All the guests being requested to wear red

Why are these exceptions? Because red en masse becomes a background, a sophisticated contrast against which the marrying couple, and what they are wearing, stands out. We all love those photos of the marrying couple in front of a red wall.

Related posts

• Is it OK for a guest to wear white to a wedding?
  
• Is it OK for a guest to wear black to a wedding?

Thanks for reading!