Coffee Unity Ceremony*
Categories: | Wedding Ceremony | Wedding Rituals |
Wine ceremonies in which the couple
drink from a shared glass of wine which may have been
created by them pouring red and white wine into the
glass, are very common in weddings.But what if you don't drink, don't drink wine, or are coffee people? Why not have a coffee unity ceremony instead. Like wine, sharing coffee is a ritual of fellowship, hospitality, and the celebration of life. For such rituals, I craft appropriate words to suit the occasion, who you are, and the choices you, the couple, have made for this ritual.
There are a number of ways you can frame a coffee unity ceremony. And not all of them involve liquids - either hot or cold.
Coffee ritual using liquid
coffee
out
The simplest ceremonial blending ceremony could
be one of you pouring coffee (from a carafe or pot)
into a mug or cup, and the other one pouring
milk. This could be done with cold coffee if
you are holding your ceremony outdoors, or if you're
in a venue, or having a very small ceremony just
seated round a table in your favourite coffee shop,
with hot coffee and even frothed milk. Or you could
use coffee of two different origins.
Coffee ritual using ground
coffee beans
out
For an organic variation on the sand ceremony, choose
ground coffee beans
As in the sand ceremony, each of you pours the coffee into a container to create a blend. You could choose beans of the four different species (Robusta, Arabica, Liberica, or the rarer Asian-grown Excelsa). You could choose beans grown on different continents or different parts of the same continent (where coffee of the same species is grown determines the flavour). I'm a particular fan of Kenyan grown Arabica which has notes of orange blossom, so super-appropriate for weddings.
Coffee ritual using whole
beans
The "usual" unity ritual emphasises the
blending of two lives. The traditional words are two
become one. But for many people this feels
uncomfortable because it harks back to the days when
marrying meant that the couple became one legal
entity, the reality being that legally, the bride
was subsumed into the groom's legal identity, and
therefore lost her own. Framing a unity ritual as mixing
rather than blending, provides a
visual and ritual acknowledgement of the couple's
intention to be on the same team, working towards
common goals, each bringing their own skills,
talents, and commitment to the relationship, but
without relinquishing their own personalities.
Including other members of the family in the ritual is also super-easy when using beans. And choosing beans of different species or varieties will provide some colour variation.
Thanks for reading.
* For a more extensive exploration of coffee unity rituals, read the repost of my how-to article written for celebrants and originally published in The Celebrant, Issue 4, June 2020, pp 70-77
As in the sand ceremony, each of you pours the coffee into a container to create a blend. You could choose beans of the four different species (Robusta, Arabica, Liberica, or the rarer Asian-grown Excelsa). You could choose beans grown on different continents or different parts of the same continent (where coffee of the same species is grown determines the flavour). I'm a particular fan of Kenyan grown Arabica which has notes of orange blossom, so super-appropriate for weddings.
Coffee ritual using whole
beans
out
Including other members of the family in the ritual is also super-easy when using beans. And choosing beans of different species or varieties will provide some colour variation.
Thanks for reading.
* For a more extensive exploration of coffee unity rituals, read the repost of my how-to article written for celebrants and originally published in The Celebrant, Issue 4, June 2020, pp 70-77