Coffee Unity Ceremony

by Jennifer Cram (11/07/2019)  |  Categories: | Wedding Ceremony | Wedding Rituals |
Two cups of coffee and a
                    cup of coffee beans Wine ceremonies in which the couple drink from a shared glass of wine which may have been created by them pouring red and white wine into the glass, are very common in weddings.

But what if you don't drink, don't drink wine, or are coffee people?  Why not have a coffee unity ceremony instead.  Like wine, sharing coffee is a ritual of fellowship, hospitality, and the celebration of life. For such rituals, I craft appropriate words to suit the occasion, who you are, and the choices you, the couple, have made for this ritual.

There are a number of ways you can frame a coffee unity ceremony. And not all of them involve liquids - either hot or cold.

Coffee ritual using liquid coffee

The simplest ceremonial blending ceremony could be one of you pouring coffee (from a carafe or pot) into a mug or cup, and the other one pouring milk.  This could be done with cold coffee if you are holding your ceremony outdoors, or if you're in a venue, or having a very small ceremony just seated round a table in your favourite coffee shop, with hot coffee and even frothed milk. Or you could use coffee of two different origins.

Coffee ritual using ground coffee beans

For an organic variation on the sand ceremony, choose ground coffee beans

As in the sand ceremony, each of you pours the coffee into a container to create a blend.  You could choose beans of the four different species (Robusta, Arabica, Liberica, or the rarer Asian-grown Excelsa). You could choose beans grown on different continents or different parts of the same continent (where coffee of the same species is grown determines the flavour). I'm a particular fan of Kenyan grown Arabica which has notes of orange blossom, so super-appropriate for weddings.

Coffee ritual using whole beans

The "usual" unity ritual emphasises the blending of two lives. The traditional words are two become one. But for many people this feels uncomfortable because it harks back to the days when marrying meant that the couple became one legal entity, the reality being that legally, the bride was subsumed into the groom's legal identity, and therefore lost her own. Framing a unity ritual as mixing rather than blending, provides a visual and ritual acknowledgement of the couple's intention to be on the same team, working towards common goals, each bringing their own skills, talents, and commitment to the relationship, but without relinquishing their own personalities.

Including other members of the family in the ritual is also super-easy when using beans. And choosing beans of different species or varieties will provide some colour variation.

Jenny xxx Let's talk soon about how you
                      can have the best ceremony ever