| Wedding Ceremony | Wedding Rituals |
Wine ceremonies in which the couple
drink from a shared glass of wine which may have been
created by them pouring red and white wine into the
glass, are very common in weddings.
But what if you don't drink, don't drink wine, or are
coffee people? Why not have a coffee unity
ceremony instead. Like wine, sharing coffee is a
ritual of fellowship, hospitality, and the celebration
of life. For such rituals, I craft appropriate words
to suit the occasion, who you are, and the choices
you, the couple, have made for this ritual.
There are a number of ways you can frame a coffee
unity ceremony. And not all of them involve liquids -
either hot or cold.
Coffee ritual using liquid
The simplest ceremonial blending ceremony could
be one of you pouring coffee (from a carafe or pot)
into a mug or cup, and the other one pouring
milk. This could be done with cold coffee if
you are holding your ceremony outdoors, or if you're
in a venue, or having a very small ceremony just
seated round a table in your favourite coffee shop,
with hot coffee and even frothed milk. Or you could
use coffee of two different origins.
Coffee ritual using ground
For an organic variation on the sand ceremony
ground coffee beans
As in the sand ceremony, each of you pours the
coffee into a container to create a blend. You
could choose beans of the four different species
(Robusta, Arabica, Liberica, or the rarer
Asian-grown Excelsa). You could choose beans grown
on different continents or different parts of the
same continent (where coffee of the same species is
grown determines the flavour). I'm a particular fan
of Kenyan grown Arabica which has notes of orange
blossom, so super-appropriate for weddings.
Coffee ritual using whole
The "usual" unity ritual emphasises the
blending of two lives. The traditional words are two
But for many people this feels
uncomfortable because it harks back to the days when
marrying meant that the couple became one legal
entity, the reality being that legally, the bride
was subsumed into the groom's legal identity, and
therefore lost her own. Framing a unity ritual as mixing
rather than blending
, provides a
visual and ritual acknowledgement of the couple's
intention to be on the same team, working towards
common goals, each bringing their own skills,
talents, and commitment to the relationship, but
without relinquishing their own personalities.
Including other members of the family in the ritual
is also super-easy when using beans. And choosing
beans of different species or varieties will provide
some colour variation.