Easy ways to Conquer Your Fears about Your Vows

by Jennifer Cram Brisbane Marriage Celebrant  © (21/11/2019)
Categories:  | Vows | Wedding Ceremony |
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Couple exchanging wedding vows on the
                          banks of the Brisbane RiverMarrying the love of your life is going to be an extremely emotional  experience. In fact, and this is no secret, the reason we all love weddings (celebrants included) is precisely that. Seeing the emotions on your faces - tears and all - is what really makes a wedding for your guests. It's what grabs the heart, lifts the spirit, and makes everyone present silently go Awwww. And often we join in and shed a tear or two as well (celebrants included).

I call it the three big W's of a wedding - Welling Up, Willing the Couple On, and Wishing the Marriage Every Success.

But one of the biggest fears couples share with me is about speaking in public, stuffing up their vows, and ugly crying!
It is normal to feel a bit nervous at the same time as feeling excited (the butterflies are the same, by the way), but don’t worry, it will be all right on the day. Making your vows to one another is not like standing on a platform, facing an audience, and making a speech.

You will be looking into the eyes of the love of your life. You’ll be making promises about how you are going to behave towards this person for the rest of your life. You’ll be prepared. You’ll know exactly what you are going to say. And I will be leading you through these promises (repeat after me) or, if you choose, you’ll be reading them from a very Insta-worthy card I'll make for you. You won’t be making a speech.
With my help, we’ll make sure that your vows are natural expressions of what you want to say. And, because you are prepared and happy with your vows, none of the following things that marrying couples commonly worry about are going to spoil your day:

Common Fear #1: Going blank


Going blank isn't going to happen. You don’t have to memorise and remember your vows. You can repeat them after me, or you can read them from lovely cards I'll make for you. 

Common Fear #2: Freezing up


If you do need to pause for a bit, just breathe calmly and quietly in through your nose and out through your mouth. Practice this and use it both before ceremony starts and during it. You’ll be amazed at how calm you’ll feel!

Common Fear #3: Blushing, Shaking, Dry Mouth


These are common physical responses to being nervous. Even if they do happen you can do things that will bring you to a calmer state where the symptoms start to fade away. Ignore blushing and concentrate on what you are promising to you best beloved. Drink lots of water before the ceremony and try not to think about it. Concentrate on what you’re doing (Marrying the love of your life) instead of the fact that you’re blushing, shaking, or have a dry mouth and the symptoms will resolve themselves quite quickly.

Common Fear #4: Ugly Crying


There's nothing wrong with shedding a few (happy!) tears on the big day. Trust me, while the chance of you actually ugly-crying on your wedding day is very very slight, it is a huge fear for many people. But you can avoid ugly crying with some simple preparation.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny xxx Let's talk soon about how you can
                    have the best ceremony ever
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