First Look - When, Why,
How, and Who
Categories: | Wedding Traditions |
The
incredibly romantic moment when a couple first
locks eyes on their wedding day is a must-have
photo opportunity. The traditional first look
happened during the processional. Way back in
the day, a groom would stand at the altar with
his back to the aisle, so that the first time he
saw his bride was when he glanced sideways as
she took her place next to him. Occasionally in
Australia, more often in the UK, we see an
evolution of this, where the groom stands at the
altar with his back to the aisle until the bride
appears and then, at a whispered prompt from the
celebrant or clergyperson, turns to see her for
the first time.The tradition of a couple not seeing each other (specifically, the groom not seeing the bride) before the ceremony is still strong, even though there is absolutely no reason for it any more. When marriages were arranged for strategic and other reasons, bride and groom were prevented from seeing one another before the ceremony in order to guard against the possibility of one or other refusing to go ahead with the wedding. In time, this became a superstition that required the couple to spend the night before the wedding apart, and not see one another before the ceremony, to which was added a ban on the groom seeing the wedding gown - all supposedly to ensure the marriage lasts.
In our more enlightened times, when the first look happens during the processional grooms tend to stand looking down the aisle so they can see the bride's entrance, and photographers do their best to capture the magic of the expressions on the couple's faces (often having to compete with guests, smart phones, and Uncle Bob who steps into the aisle at the critical moment).But there is an alternative. A pre-ceremony photo session - the private First Look. This emerging new tradition amongst modern couples side-steps the stresses and issues caused by the Uncle Bobs among your guests. It is no wonder it is growing in popularity. First look wedding photos have been topping the wedding wish lists for a growing number of couples over the past few years as more and more couples choose to experience this special time privately and more intimately.
Whether you wait to see your beloved for the first time as you walk down the aisle, or whether you schedule your first look before the ceremony is entirely up to you. Just one word of warning. Discuss it fully before making a decision. If either of you feels awkward about the idea, leave it alone.
When do you do
a First Look?
out
As the name implies, a First Look is the first
time you see one another in all your wedding
finery on your wedding day. So you should
schedule it before the ceremony. Your
photographer will guide you as to how long you
will need for photos.. But, as a rough guide,
you will need to allow time between your first
look and the ceremony start time to be able to
have any makeup touch-ups that might be
required, any formal photos that will be taken
after the first look, and travel time to the
ceremony venue - whether that involves a limo
ride or a short stroll.Why
do a First Look?
out
There are many reasons to
choose to see your partner before walking
down the aisle:
- It often produces the best emotional
expressions of the day
- It's a great way to calm the nerves
- You actually get to spend more time
together on your wedding day
With more than half the day spent in getting ready, then congratulations from guests, plus everything that happens at the reception, couples can find that they get to spend very little time together - guests tend to monopolise you individually, not as a couple.
- You get to spend some quiet time
together in (semi) private
After all the frenzy of wedding planning and getting ready on the day, scheduling a first look allows you to enjoy this time without the pressure of being in front of your guests. Because it is both more relaxed and without the time constraints imposed by the ceremony, you can be yourselves, rather than on your best behaviour, and really immerse yourselves in the moment, reconnecting with one another and why you are getting married. It will feel private, and much more intimate, even though there will be others around. Having a discreet photographer, who will both capture the moment and know when to step back to allow you a private moment, is key to a successful first look. - You can choose to do this alone (just
the two of you), or share the moment by
having family and your bridal party
present.
- You can let your emotions show
Brides, particularly, tend to try to hold back emotions on the walk down the aisle out of fear that they'll spoil their makeup. Scheduling a first allows you to be in the moment knowing that your makeup can be touched up before you make your grand entrance - Your are together in the moment in the
photos
When your first look is walking down the aisle it is emotional, and it is photographed, but you won't be together in the photos, and the individual photos won't be taken at exactly the same moment.
- It minimises the waiting time for your
guests between the ceremony and the
reception
A first look provides the opportunity to have a lot of the formal photos taken before the ceremony, with the added benefit that the bouquet is in peak condition, the boutonniere ditto (hugs can really trash those!), and there are no transferred makeup marks or lipstick smudges on either of you in the formal photos! - A First Look is a perfect prelude to
walking down the aisle together
In many countries, the couple traditionally walks down the aisle together, which creates a very different vibe and is great for settling the nerves. - A First Look opens possibilities for
the obligatory detail photos of the rings
The fairly standard shots include the rings in their boxes, perhaps alongside the bride's bouquet, perfume, or jewellery or the groom's shoes, cufflinks, or cologne. A popular shot is the rings on the hand of the groom. A first look allows a different possibility, one that is both gender-neutral and more intimate - the rings in the hands of the couple.
How
to do a First Look
out
Generally speaking, a first
look is set up so you see each others face
simultaneously, and when you are close together
so easy to get a photo of you both in the same
frame. When discussing whether you will or you
won't, it would be a very good idea for the two
of you to explore your expectations, so you have
a clear idea when it comes to discussing those
expectations with your photographer. Just
remember, this is not the moment for posed
wedding photos. A first look only works when it
is not posed!
- Choose where you will do it
A first look works best in a private location, preferably close to the ceremony location and outdoors during the daytime (so your photographer doesn't need to use a flash, which can be disturbing for the moment) - Decide whether you want it to be
completely spontaneous
Or whether you would prefer your photographer to guide you through it on the day. Discuss with your photographer so that you can be sure you make the most out of your first look - Make sure your photographer has a plan in place to avoid any possibility of you accidentally seeing one another before your scheduled first look
- Make sure other vendors are aware of
when and where the first look will be
You don't want deliveries, or staff, photobombing your first look - Keep your hands free to be
spontaneous
Don't carry anything so you can enjoy the moment without juggling bouquets, purses, or anything else.
- Have fun and get creative
Although the more usual way of setting up a first look (groom facing away, bride walks up behind him and touches him on the shoulder) is effective, it isn't the only way to do a first look. - Use the lift
Capturing that moment when the lift doors open to reveal one of you to the other is pretty magic - and fun. - Borrow from the Scottish tradition
of the groom greeting the bride at the car
when she arrives - first look can be
through the window (those tinted windows
are wonderful, keeping her hidden until
the window is rolled down, or when he
opens the car door. This is a great way to
do a first look for anyone with mobility
issues, or when the timeline is very
tight.
- Choose a location with meaning for
your relationship
Like the place you met, or where the proposal happened if those are logistically possible - it may not be as private, but can be lots of fun if other randoms are around.
- Use a blindfold
Or two. Blindfolds are a fun way to build the anticipation of seeing one another. - Include the car, your horse, or
something else of significance
And do your first look next to it, so that it is in the shots.
- Mix it up and have the bride stand
with her back to the groom
With the groom sneaking up behind - Keep something back as a surprise
Do your first look before you are completely ready to head into the ceremony. By that I mean, finish dressing after the first look, so you don't reveal your total look until the ceremony. A gentle way to retain an element of surprise for that moment. Of course you want the photos to look good, so schedule your first look for after hair and makeup has been done, but don't be completely turned out. You might decide to wear your dress, but leave your veil off. Or wear your veil, but turn up in jeans and tee-shirt. For the guys. perhaps shirt sleeves only. '
- Build the momentum
Although the more usual way of setting up a first look (groom facing away, bride walks up behind him and touches him on the shoulder) is effective, it isn't the only way to do a first look. - Stay away from Social Media
Just in case someone posts a sneaky photo that will spoil the surprise, neither of you should look at social media once you start getting dressed.
- Start with a first touch
That can be one of you walking up behind the other and touching to alert to your presence, or it can be the two of you coming to a corner or doorway from two opposite directions and reaching out to join hands. If doing the tap on the shoulder, discuss with your photographer which shoulder to make sure that the direction in which you turn is towards the camera. - Share a love letter right before your
first look
A lovely way to do this (and it makes for great photos), is both to stand where you are hidden from one another but visible to the photographer (and in the one frame), exchange letters, and read them. - Focus on one another and ignore the
camera(s)
Even if your first look is guided, the aim is to ensure it is candid and personal. Again, this is something to discuss with your photographer - Share some private time after the
photos are done
Ask your photographer, and anyone else present, to leave you completely alone for a few moments
Who
to do a First Look with
When people say First Look, the
assumption is that it is a moment between the
marrying couple. But photographers have been
capturing other first looks ever since wedding
photography moved out of the studio and away
from the camera on a pedestal. First looks
aren't rationed! Here are some of my
favourites first look variations, but still
adhering to the tradition of being the first
time the bride shows herself to the groom or
people close to her. Even if you've decided
against a first look as a couple, there are
plenty of nerve-settling opportunities to
capture surprise and delight before heading down
the aisle
First
Look at the Groom
Not quite
a first look - some alternatives
- First look plus one (or more)
If you are marrying a man with children, it can be sweet and psychologically beneficial to have them stand with him for your first look, or, if you have decided not to see one another until you walk down the aisle, to have a first look with his children on their own.
- First look with parents
Traditionally the moment when the bride's father first saw her dressed in her bridal finery, but it's the 21st
century, so
however it works with your family is
wonderful
- First look with bridesmaids
The stuff of reality shows, but can be a fun moment
- First look with grandparents
Sweet, sweet, sweet
- First look with your dog
I don't know why everyone who has a dog doesn't do this. If your doggo is all dressed up for the wedding, and will be part of the ceremony, that's great. But many get left at home for good reasons, so this is a great opportunity to include the fur kid.
First
Look at the Groom
It is the 21st century. So
why not acknowledge that it is the groom's day
too?
Alternative
First Looks
- First look with the groom's parents
- First look with the groomsmen. All right, so maybe you all got dressed together, but if you can swing it, it can be great fun. Particularly if your groomsmen are mates who aren't used to seeing you all dressed up!
- First look with the groom's grandparents
Sweet as - First look with your special furbabies
- First look with your children, or your
soon to be bride's children.
Alternative
First Looks
It is the 21st century.
Anything goes. And these
strict-gender-divide busting alternatives
are gold!
- First look - bride with the groomsmen. Definitely a high energy first look.
- First look - groom with the bridesmaids. High energy and very sweet
Not quite
a first look - some alternatives
Scheduling a first look gives
your photographer a great opportunity to
capture intimate portraits of you together
that also capture both excitement and
anticipation without impacting your wedding
day timeline. But what if you're not sure
about actually seeing one another? What if you
want to save that first sight for the
walking-down-the-aisle moment?
Have it both ways! Stand
on either side of a barrier, where you can't see
one another but your photographer can see both
of you, or, with careful management so you don't
see one another face-to-face, stand back to back
- Blindfold the groom. This is a great
alternative where it might be difficult to
hide from one another while still being
close enough to talk
- Ramp up the emotion with a First Touch. While not looking at one another, hold hands. The emotion will explode!
- Read your personal vows to one another.
Without the distraction of others around it
will be so much easier to share what is in
your hearts and what you commit to. Of
course, that doesn't mean you can't repeat
those personal promises as part of the
ceremony.
- Exchange the gifts you have for one another, allowing your photographer to not only capture the moment when you open them, but the emotions on both your faces when each of you reacts to the gift and the love and thought that went into choosing it.
- Exchange cards and read them
If you decide against being in
the same space, you can still capture some of
the emotions from a First Contact. If you have
two photographers you can coordinate First
Contact photos and have simultaneous photos
taken as you call one another to say a few
words, perhaps read your love letters to one
another and send air kisses.
Thanks for reading!
