When Coronavirus Forces
You to Un-Invite People to Your Wedding
I
can't believe I'm saying this, but it is no longer
regarded to be bad manners, bad taste, and socially
unacceptable to un-invite people to your wedding, if
the COVID-19 coronavirus is the reason you need to
downsize your guest list. Etiquette has always been that if you send someone a Save the Date for your wedding you must follow up with an actual invitation, and if you send someone an actual invitation to your wedding it is extremely bad manners to un-invite them.
But in 2020, everything has been turned on its
head. Cancellation of weddings because of
government imposed restrictions has been
widespread. Social Distancing restrictions,
together with the flow-own effect of rescheduled
weddings competing with previously booked weddings
for limited venue and vendor availability, is
forcing couples to change plans, and this may
require cutting guest numbers. Rescheduling,
or even predicting when your wedding can go ahead,
is not a simple matter. Most people understand
that.
Acceptable reasons for
changing your original plans and guest numbers
- Your venue can no longer accommodate your
original number of guests due to social
distancing requirements
- Your original venue is already
booked and the substitute venue
cannot accommodate your original numbers
Rescheduling your wedding means you're going to be competing for venues and vendors, as postponed weddings will be competing with weddings already booked for later this year and into 2021. - Closed borders and restrictions on
international travel may prevent you having
a destination wedding or may prevent
overseas and interstate guests from
attending
It is no secret that the ban on international travel is not going to end any time soon. This will impact on plans for an overseas wedding and on overseas guests
- Financial hardship
- You have personal reasons for wanting to
marry while the number of guests is
restricted
Visa requirements, pregnancy, or other reasons
It is never, however, acceptable to use
COVID-19, or any other reason to un-invite
selected people for personal reasons. Your
rationale should be fair and universal.
Choosing who to
un-invite
- Finalise the numbers
- Work out an across-the-board rationale for
who will make the cut, and keep it fair to
minimise the possibility that un-invited
guests will take it personally.
How to tell guests that
they are un-invited
- Communicate with un-invited guests as soon
as possible, and do that in as personal a way
possible. Call them, message them, email them,
or make a short video to share with them. If
using a video, follow up with an individual
call or message
- Explain that you have to downsize your guest list and explain why
- Assure them that they mean a lot to your, and reducing your guest list has been a very difficult decision
- Share the rationale you came up with to ensure that no un-invited guest feels personally hurt by your decision
- Let them know if you will be live-streaming your wedding so that they can be virtual guests
- If your wedding will be videoed let them
know you will share the footage with them
after the wedding.
How to include
un-invited guests in your wedding
- Live-stream your wedding
- Bring back the old tradition of reading out telegrams and ask them to send a short message that can be printed out and read on the day
- Ask them to send a short video message that can be spliced together and played during your celebration
Thanks for reading!
